Dearest Reader,
As I wrap up my leftovers from "My March Lunchbox"similar to the way I would if my Mum had packed my favourite sandwich of fairy bread and a delicious space food snack bar (do you remember those?!!!) on the drive home after school. I finish the alphabet series of my stories with a letter to my bright eyed eighteen-year-old self circa 2002 and I share my leftover letters from O-Z.
I imagine sitting on the rikety wooden bench and at a place that was my most special space ever. It was in south Australia on the Yorke Peninsula in Ardrossan at James Well. On the top balcony of my Nana and Grandfathers house. The veranda looking directly out to the ocean. The smell of bacon and eggs, light conversations and a glimpse of the adults behind me making cups of coffee while the sound of the windchime truly makes me so safe. So loved. I’m so grateful for that precious space and treasured memories from when I was young with my family, my cousins and my Nanna. I will never forget those memories. They hold such a special place in my heart.
I hand over this letter to my eighteen-year-old self and tell Kelly that no matter what she is capable. Capable of everything and anything that is put in her path. I remind her that she has a bright light that will be dimmed but must never be switched off no matter the experience. To wear consistently her cape of capability consciously. Every.Single.Day.
To my dearest Kelly. Some special letters for you from O - Z.
O – obsessions are the inner drive you use to pursue your dreams. The things you can’t shift from your imagination. It is another word you use for passion. Allow this inner dialogue to drive your ambition in carving the life YOU want.
P – Pa. Your Pa will be the very first person you loose to Heaven. It will be the first funeral you attend and it will break your heart. You will write a poem for him and read it aloud during the service. It will break your heart until you feel you can’t breathe. You will see your Father break down before you. You will feel how sad your Brother and sister are and this hurts you deeply too. It will be an experience that you will never forget. You feel his presence and energy around you ALL THE TIME. He will show himself to you in your dreams and become instrumental in feeling and teaching you to trust your intuition. He will leave an imprint on your heart like no other role model. Especially in your family circle. You will crave his company and you will miss him terribly. You will understand that he was your Father figure and will teach you life skills no one else will. You don’t have a positive and influential male role model except for your Pa. A beautiful kind heart and your guardian angel watching over you.
Q – question. You will question your feelings and who you are every.single.day. You will ask yourself daily and consistently if there is something wrong with you? You develop a strong inner thought process that if you need help to be careful who you turn to. Your heart is guarded. Your feelings are strong. Your emotions are real. Very real and overwhelming most of the time. Your gift of being an empath does not make ANY sense to you until a diagnosis of ill health followed by your first heartbreak to your first love and all the things that make you KELLY begin to come together to get you through stored trauma and beginning to move forward and working out what truly makes you happy.
R – readiness. You come to realise very quickly that you have a huge amount of determination and inner motivation. You will always strive to be a great actor. A great teacher. A great student. A great friend. A great Sister. It goes on. You are all about self-improvement and realise that you were born with a readiness that fires off very strongly deep inside you. You will never settle for what society pegs as normal. Nor will you be bored. Your heart is never idle nor is your resilience.
S – sadness. The pain from your early childhood trauma and many ups/downs will see you hurt very deep. The pain will be invisible to your outside world because you carry an armour of guilt of not being able to protect/save/hide your younger self and family members among abuse in the family home. The levels of betrayal, dishonesty, manipulation and rejection for the most part of your twenties shapes you and in turn acts as a funnel making way for your true nature to grow. You carry a desire to be of service to yourself first as to shake, shape and heal but realise how much you care for others and want to help as many people as you can. In a big way.
T –time. All your wounds heal. Over time. Everything that makes you upset and afraid will turn. It will shift. Over time. Through forgiveness, heartache and a shit load of self-love and genuinely loving Kelly.
U – union. It all aligns everything begins to line up for you. This is not easy. It is a slow process. Like an onion you realise your life has had so many layers. Layer upon layer has revealed to you your core.
V – victory. For all the bad you experience the GOOD. The good will outweigh the bad. What you coin good will occur during the moments and in experiences that you never expect. Spirit and those who love you deeply watching over you will shower you with these good gifts that ultimately motivate and remind you of your natural abilities. Your real personality steps forward and shines through. You are infectious and radiate warmth and a strong dose of friendliness. You love to love. Your victory's salute your inner child and your tireless effort of the inner work you have done begin to show you the power of healing through the inside out process. An encounter with a shaman changes your life. Kelly steps forward.
W – wins. As soon as the big 3.0 hits something similar to that of a lighting bolt hits you deep to your core. It triggers a response and attitude of no longer looking back and you hit the ground running. You enroll in natural medicine.
X – xena. You loved this TV show as a little girl and this is exactly the women you want to become. Your name is an echo of this. The origin of Kelly stems from the Gaelic tradition meaning warrior. You love this and it is your inner strength that you never take for granted. You realise the potency of this when you are triggered through events and experiences that you have no control over and it just happens to and for you.
Y – yes. Say yes. Say yes to almost everything. Saying yes allows you to be completely in the now and gets you out of your inner Virgo of over analysing everything. Saying yes opens windows of opportunities and experiences to you that make you feel alive, loved and valued. The biggest yes moment of your life is when you agree to go out with a group of girlfriends and you meet your soul mate and the love of your life, Leigh. The biggest yes you ever take in the later years of your twenties.
Z – zest. When you finish acting school and enjoy it for what it is and all that it serves your soul it reminds you to trust love and adore your true natural essence. You are then introduced to the holistic side of early childhood education through the Montessori method. You fall deeply in love with this teaching method of education for the young and you develop your passion for teaching. You learn so much about your learning difficulties through the Montessori teaching training and come a way with qualification you are so proud of and an inspirational and soul connection in Maria Montessori who shapes you as a teacher for the next nine years.
You train at another university and gain a qualification as a dual qualified kindergarten teacher and embrace wholeheartedly the traditional side of early childhood. The children mirror your love of learning and the zest you develop to better yourself becomes your biggest inner asset. Your determination is crazy and your zest to experience life becomes a strong motivator in learning as much as you can.
You realise that your love of learning comes from past life memories and a sense of unfinished business. You are here to learn. To heal. To heal ancestral pain, talk and express all aspects of mental health, trauma and abuse that have hurt/hindered your family lines. You are here in the family unit you choose to bring in a new cycle of unconditional love, to teach, lead and rebuild your DNA structure. You are here to be of service to others. Adding Zest in all areas of your life saturates your core and entire self.
I love you Kelly.
I believe in you Kelly.
Go NOW and live life the way you feel.
Be true to you.
xoxoxo
Comments